Mental Health

The Best Marriage Advice I’ve Ever Received

This advice change my entire perspective on arguments

It was a week before my marriage and I was getting very nervous. Everyone around me kept telling me it is a bad idea to get married. Their marriage ended in divorce, that I was too young. That marriage always end. My aunt overheard their comments and left the room. As I was sitting in my room prepping for the day to come I found a letter.

The letter she wrote completely changed the way I viewed arguments. It read…

“Most marriage problems can be solved if husband and wife would learn to solve problems quickly, openly, respectfully and courteously like adults in a mature way. Avoid throwing emotional tantrums and yelling. Do no emotionalize every discussion. Learn to disagree without getting angry.

Learn to disagree without getting angry. Learn to disagree without being disrespectful. Learn when to stop the argument before it gets into a verbal war. Learn when to walk away or change the subject.

When indisputable facts are presented learn to say, “you’re right, I was wrong.” Learn to argue factually allowing your spouse to express himself or herself fully without fear of judgment or reprimand. Avoid name calling or saying words that you’ll regret saying.

In marriage often you have to lose an argument in order to win your spouse. Usually, whenever one spouse wins, marriage loses.”

I have followed my aunt’s advice and can proudly say that I am happily married. Getting married to my love was by far the best decision I have made in my life. On April 8th we celebrated our 1st year of marriage and 6th year anniversary.

(Here’s a picture of us on our wedding day.)

Terence and selene april 8th

What is the best marriage advice someone has given you? Comment down below and empower other marriages.

Selene Kinder

Selene Kinder

Founder of Empowering Women Now
Selene is the founder of Empowering Women Now, a platform that empowers women to live authentically as themselves. She firmly believes that women have the power to shift culture, eradicate unjust standards and ultimately change the world. When she's not working, she is most likely sipping on a cup of local coffee, walking her dog, or taking a pilates class. Connect with Selene over on her Instagram!


  1. Firstly, may I just comment on your stunning photo…. Simply beautiful, and so full of love.
    Your aunt has blessed you with wise words. Marriage is a wonderful experience, one which all who has entered in the bond of one=ness, never enters it with the mind-set of a timescale.
    After parting with my husband of 20 years married (26 together & 3 amazing boys) I would do it again. Its beautiful and such a blessing…… enjoy everyday, month and year, it goes so quickly.
    My advice would be ….. communicate, listen to each other, be kind to each other, pray together regardless, but most of all remember LOVE does truly conquer all. I wish you love and happiness.

  2. Congratulations and thanks for sharing your beautiful photo I was Married for 34 years my advice Is to be just you and be honest and open with each other and show respect for each other the most important is TRUST if you haven’t got TRUST believe me you have nothing good luck I wish you both an eternity of happiness Regards Shelagh

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