life doesn’t follow a timeline.
Remember the song you used to sing in the playground as a child,
“(Girl’s name) and (boy’s name) sitting in the tree
K-i-s-s-i-n-g! (spell it out)
First comes love.
Then comes marriage.
Then comes baby in the baby carriage!”
That innocent song that you once sang set the tone for your timeline. When things do NOT go according to the timeline that you made up for your life you feel like a failure or like you are missing out. Even worse – you feel that your time has passed.
Creating a timeline for your life is not the issue – The problem is that there isn’t necessarily a road map for how to do that. And that’s where the problem comes in. That’s where the anxiety comes in.
You cannot predict when you are going to meet the love of your life. You cannot predict when you will land your dream job. You cannot predict when your business will take off. You cannot predict when you will take that dream trip.
While I haven’t accomplished the milestones I planned, I know my inability to meet these expectations at a certain age has no reflection on my potential to reach them in the future.
The truth is that the only thing that holds us back from our lives is the timelines we’ve set for them — instead of appreciating where we currently are, many of us fall victim to focusing on where we think we should be. While some of my friends are buying homes to settle down, there are others who are buying plane tickets to travel solo.
Even though we’re all similar ages, our lives are different due to our personalities and the priorities that form because of them. Why? Because our ages don’t necessarily have to dictate when we achieve specific things in life. In the end, it’s never too late to create a life you want — your age only represents how long you’ve been apart of this world, not what you’re capable of doing while you’re living in it.
The year I turned 27 I was invited to more baby showers than I had ever attended… in my life. I looked up and all my close friends had checked many of the major life boxes (soulmate, wedding, three-bedroom house, baby) while I wasn’t even in the ballpark. That was the first time I felt the pressure.
That year was so hard. I had to continually remind myself to be happy for my friends rather than using them as guidelines for what my life didn’t have. And even in the midst of the comparison game… I truly hated that I felt that way. I hated that I was secretly looking at my wonderful life and seeing it as less.
But that’s the thing: “too old” or “too young” is all just part of this timeline narrative I’m refusing to accept any more. I’m excited to experience life on my own timeline… exactly how it was meant to happen. And I just so happen to have a close panel of mom veterans to turn to for advice.
For any women out there reading this, know that your timeline is your own. No matter how different it may look to everyone around you. Last but not least I encourage you to watch the short video down below. Remember there is no timeline.