Being a friend to someone is truly a gift. And the good news is that everyone has the ability to be one. You can be a blessing to anyone at any time.

Many of us develop selfish thinking and focus on the thought, who is treating me well? We look at ourselves and what we need rather than casting our eyes on the needs of others. Thinking this way, however, will leave you discontented and with a lack of meaningful relationships.

The key to friendship isn’t to focus on who is being a good friend to you. Instead, true selflessness is found when you focus on how you can be a good friend to others. After time spent with friends, we need to shift our thinking from: how did they meet my needs? How did they make me happy? What did they do for me? to: Did I love them the way they most feel loved? How did I encourage them? How did I uplift them? This change of mindset will surely make the world, and your relationships, a better place.

It’s easy to get confused about what a good friend looks like. I know I screw up all of the time on loving people the way they should be loved.

1. Speak Life

Do you speak life to your friends? Do you encourage them? Do you inspire them to be the woman or man God made them to be?

Are you genuinely happy for them when they succeed? Do you genuinely care if when they don’t? Do you reach out to them during hard times?

These are all key factors of a good friend. A friend needs to love as they would want to be loved. You value others as much as you value yourself. Even though it can be incredibly hard, this mindset will positively impact those around you.

2. Remove Expectations

I struggle with holding unreachable expectations for the people in my life, and it shows my area of perfectionism. I try to imagine how everything should be in my life and how certain people should act and behave. But I am at fault for thinking I can control everything. We will never, ever be perfect human beings. Instead, we will grow together to be better versions of ourselves, and this is a beautiful aspect of friendship.

To turn away from being a friend to someone because you don’t approve of their lifestyle is hate, people. This is selfish and prideful thinking.

Instead, choose to believe that every single person is in your life for a reason. And you aren’t called to rescue them or change them, but to love them. Right where they are at.

It’s safe to say being a loving friend is not always easy, but it is one of the greatest gifts you can give to the world. No matter if it’s your family member, coworker, or bestie from preschool, you can always be a friend to somebody else.

Go and be a blessing, ladies.