1. I urge women not to look for just mentors, but even more importantly to find champions. There can be a tendency for the word mentor to sound very advisory, a lot of talking. I am a naturally action-oriented person who feels there is far too much talking in the world and too little doing. So I urge women to find champions because champions are people who make shit happen for you.
Look for a champion where you work because a champion needs to have a degree of familiarity with you and experience the quality of your work. Look around and above you, and decide who you want to champion you. The key thing is (and women make this mistake all the time), you don’t go to someone and ask, “Will you be my champion?” I’m all about communication through demonstration. You make a point of impressing that person with something that you do by presenting them with an example of how good you are, or how good you could be at what you really want to do, and you put that in front of them.
2. Never give anything away for free. What you have to offer any workplace (or any person) is your personal point of view, your hard-won lessons through experience. If I responded to every request I get to pick my brain for free, I would have no time to support myself and I’d be personally bankrupt.
3. Be totally unashamed about wanting to make a shit ton of money. Women are not brought up to think about money the way men are. To be taken seriously, women need to make as much money as humanly possible. Negotiate and argue for money, like all the men around you are doing. There’s a bigger point here. When C-suite men (and women) look at the spreadsheet with all the company’s salaries, when they see that women earn less than men, in their minds, they think, “Women are not as good as men.”
4. One of the quickest ways for women to make money is to invest. So please women, make as much money as you can and fund other women because that’s how we will all become billionaires. There was a whole bro network (white guys talking to white guys) who got tipped off early on to things like Uber. That network doesn’t operate for women. Women, consciously get your ear to the ground and invest.
5. Do not let anybody tell you what to do with your own f*cking money. I’ve seen this happen (friends have similar experiences): A woman who has the money to invest, tells her husband/partner that she is going to invest in MakeLoveNotPorn and he responds: “Oh no darling you don’t want to do that” and the woman capitulates.
6. Social sharing can make shit happen for women. Social media is a whole new methodology to do what women have been doing since the beginning of time – sharing the shit out of everything. We make shit happen when we share.
7. If you are working at a place that does not welcome and celebrate your talent, somewhere that does not allow you to disrupt and innovate in the way that you want to, get the fuck out, get another job. There’s no point in being there.
8. Manage your own mind. Mind management tip: of all the things that stress you out every day, pick one thing and address only that one stress that day.
9. There is always a way over, around, under or through every obstacle. You just need to be creative about what that is. Take micro-actions.
10. The fear of what other people will think is the single most paralyzing dynamic in business and life. You will never own the future if you care what other people think.
11. The only person who can make things happen for you is you. People can help you (i.e., champions), but you need to make it happen.